Joe Biden sent shockwaves through American politics last week by announcing he’s stepping aside from the Presidential race due to lackluster performances on the campaign trail.
This week he sends shockwaves across East Anglia as he announces a potential retirement to St Ives, Cambridgeshire.
A spokesman for Joe Biden told the social media platform X,
America is a mess, and given the likely results of the election it’s not going to get much better. Joe has heard of a boomer paradise in the UK and he’s very keen to get a slice of it. He’s been told gravestones at a nearby cemetery in Houghton, Cambridgeshire, are adorned with his family name, so if it’s good enough for them, why not him?
After finishing his duties endorsing Kamala Harris, Joe will fly to London Heathrow Airport, acquire a Mazda 323 rental vehicle, and meander his way up the A1 to his new riverside flat near St Ives town centre.
Once settled, he will fulfil his lifelong dream of consuming “battered fish” served with a side of “fries wrapped in buttered bread”.
He says he’ll be “hard but fair” on the staff to ensure the food order is made to a satisfactory standard.
Biden then plans to see out the rest of his days sitting in a deckchair and complaining about every little thing that occurs in the local area, likely on the Facebook group St Ives Cambridgeshire..Serious discussions and posts.
We spoke to local St Ives residents today and discovered most were not in favour of Biden’s imminent arrival.
One St Ives resident stated they had already put in a complaint, believing a high-profile resident would disturb their peace and quiet.
Another resident states,
We will be waiting for him when he arrives with our personal list of terms & conditions he’ll need to abide by if he wants to live here
Looks like you’re up for a bigger battle than getting through a debate Joe!
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